I arrive there more frequently than I care to admit. You see, I’m an overthinker.
Desiring to get productive with a new project, I’ve paced through my home for a good week now. Or longer. While you may think after blogging for 6 years, I’d have said it all or finished my home LONG ago.
But that isn’t the case. There are so many rooms that need to become more efficient and more beautiful.
But every project is massive.
“I can’t do the wall until the ceiling is done first.”
“I can’t do the floor until I gut the room. And there’s no place for the stuff to go.”
“I can’t start on the garage because I only have until 4pm today. I want to do it right next round.”
“I’m not sure when to start this one because it’ll cost $$$$.”
I paced and walked and made every excuse I could muster up to NOT start something. And then work ‘got in the way’ and then I needed to cook dinner and then it was bedtime. Or whatever. Blah blah blah.
I even started fretting about blogging. No project, no story, right? The writer in me was shutting down. The stories were getting quieter by the minute.
So yesterday I packed it in. I told myself I was just going for a quick evening walk to get outside of my own head and away from all the conversations that just wouldn’t stop.
So I did. I walked down the road and focused on the crunch of gravel and the tweet of birds. I enjoyed the evening sunlight as it started to cast long shadows. Bursts of sunlight trickling through long blades of grass, unexpected mounds of wild flowers where you wouldn’t expect… beauty and perfection was everywhere. It was lovely and quiet.
That triggered the focus on the simple beauty that surrounded me. The beauty I forgot about. The ‘free inspiration’ we have around us 24/7, but we are too busy to take note.
But the writer in me fired up the internal voices once again. And of course, shot all these iPhone pictures…. (good blogger! bad relaxer…)
“Can’t you just be still?! Stop writing mental blog posts! Not everything has to be documented…”
Can you relate?
And that’s when I found a babbling brook. I sat down in front of it, closed my eyes, and just listened.
But I wasn’t met with silence. I was met with internal pondering on how I needed to change some things that hung heavy over me. We all have those. But it’s just easier to get busy and push them aside than deal with them head on, isn’t it? Yes. It is.
I was basically saved by a babbling brook. It made me stop, take note, refocus. Prioritize.
But that’s not where things ended.
I was in my element, when a car rounded the corner. A car with an agenda. A hot rodder decided to burn a little rubber and careened all over the road right next to me. He didn’t see me sitting behind the tall grass ‘in my element.’
It was so fast that I didn’t even have time to jump up and run for higher ground, but you can bet I was feeling my heart pound in my head.
Luckily, the car straightened out and head up the hill. And it was right at that moment that I realized, it could have been all over, just like that.
While that babbling brook drew me in, it could have also ended things. But perhaps that was the exact wake up call I needed at the time.
Suddenly, all the internal babbling stopped. It didn’t matter any longer. None of that mattered.
What mattered most was, we are not promised a tomorrow. So what can you doing today, right now, that matters the most? What is calling you?
Only you can answer what matters most in your own world. Everything has a priority. Are yours in check?
So stop fighting with yourself. And go find your quiet babbling brook.
And just listen.
And here I thought I had nothing to say…
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