You are now reading Part 3!
– – – – –
After leaving my dayjob HERE, I promised I’d update you on how I finally made the final jump into blogland.
I say this like I know what I’m talking about. But I kinda don’t. I only quit in September, so the full wrath of it all hasn’t hit yet.
(How I worked up to quitting is in the post, How to build a dream job while you work a day job)
But… I will say this. It feels like I’ve always done this. As if “junk intravenous” took over long ago and it’s just part of who I am.
The only thing different? I don’t dread anything that’s ahead of me. Nor any day. Nor any time of day.
Every day is a good day!
Is that even a thing?
Oh yes my friends, it most surely is.
Why don’t they put ‘self confidence’ and ‘yes you can’ in bottles yet? If I could sell it, I would.
Because that’s what this ultimately took.
I just got to the point where I didn’t even care if I went under. I just needed out. And that’s saying a lot.
I made excuses. I dragged my heels. I whined on the shoulders of good friends, in hopes they’d coax me to do it! I was codependent for other’s needs before mine. I was a mess of indecision and fear. I basically gave up happiness and family needs over financial freedom.
But, there comes a time when you have to jump or you’ll never EVER make it happen. You can’t wish for things. You have to DO things, or they remain wishes forever.
Oh… I had plenty of survival techniques. My lah lah land while working was thinking about what I’d write once I got home. I have total memory lapses of many jobs done over the years. Crazy sounding, isn’t it?
It was like, if you’re reading and someone talks to you, you can’t hear them talk. My reading was my blog, and the talking was the work.
I had to write everything down, and I mean everything, because I couldn’t bring myself to retain the memory of details. The notes I have on the work orders were very precise, right down to fractions of an inch. I couldn’t rely on memory, nor just winging it, because I wasn’t utilizing it. It was gone.
I was too busy being ‘elsewhere.’
And then one day while lifting my arms to do the work, it felt like I was being burned. The weight of indecision and fear was unbelievable. I was actually gasping for air.
So there was only one thing left to do.
I very quite simply chose life. And prayed like the dickens I wasn’t a crazy person for giving up what I had.
I handed back the last work order, but with a white knuckled grip.
Now or never…
So I took a deep breath, walked to the edge, dug in my heels for stability in case I faltered, leaned forward….
… and free fell… letting it go to another.
I was officially on my own. Just like that.
And what happens next… is next. 🙂
Dream Box Building Challenge #20
What it ultimately took to make the final jump was belief in myself,
and trusting that God would carry me through.
Believe you can do something you feel you can’t.
Then prove it. 🙂
And how timely is this? Today I’m also guest posting at Knick of Time on this VERY topic!
Is fulltime blogging possible in a blog saturated market?
Cya there… by clicking HERE.