Welcome to my little scattered brain indecisive world…. and now, accompanying blog post.
Normally I build a blog post around a start and end to something I’ve experienced, as a means of inspiring another that may need to travel the same road. However, (at the moment I’m writing this) this is not the case.
Nope. I don’t have it all together. Are you surprised?
Bike Ride Adventure Posts
What a weird year. Summer? Most of you know I’ve been going through some life changes lately.
But I will say, so many new wonderful discoveries were made. My endless hot summer bike rides were a welcomed adventure. If I felt directionally challenged on a given day, it was always a relief to glance at the clock and ‘feel’ it was time to head out without even thinking about it.
The structure of that part felt safe and secure. Like I DID have it all together.
But then there’s the rest of the day.
Vision me standing in the middle of a room with no walls and big puffy ballon like question marks gravitating above my head.
And I think my creativity was floating above the question marks as far as outer space!
I also stopped making hard decisions. Because nothing felt right. So imagined that on repeat and getting buried…
What did help keep me moving along is when things became urgent. There is something to be said about the pressure to perform! But then… crisis diverted, the dust motes settled in once again, and… oh boy.
Let’s just go on another bike ride. It’s 6:00 pm somewhere, right?
Among my overworked / underworked mind, I’ve also been experiencing some transitioning personal and career plans. One story I can’t wait to share involves my travel trailer. I fretted the entire way through it until clarity dropped in my lap like a bomb right at the 11th hour. My head is still spinning.
So! If you’re into following the lost, boy am I’m your girl.
I told my therapist that I felt I had an indecision problem. To my complete surprise, she questioned whether it was a problem at all. That perhaps I’m just too overwhelmed with everything at the same time, so instead of making potential mistakes, I’m hanging tough until there’s clarity…
I like my therapist more and more with each passing day.
However, there is one big move I made last night that gave me the final push to get this post out there, because it proved the entire point of this post.
With credit card in hand and my computer monitor working overtime (with 50 million tabs open), I bit the bullet. In mid October I’m off to my very fav island for a short-to-me stint, with a bonus new adventure added in!
Hint… 450 cats under a palm tree… SQUEEEEEE…
Yup! Taking in Maui PLUS new-to-me Lanai (to visit a cat retreat) for an additional 3 day stint. All this was a very hard decision, months in the making. Is it the right time? What’s stopping me? I wrote out a big ‘ol pros and cons list, right down to dates, and this just felt right.
So I booked in a little relaxation PLUS a new adventure so I can keep growing. Because the travel fear bug really has to check the heck out if I’m ever gonna get off North America one day.
And here’s why our gut sometimes tells us to just wait at times. Ready for it?
I was elbow deep in the middle of 3 condo bookings, 2 flights, 2 vehicles, and a ferry ride, when I remembered my sis going sometime in fall, but I wasn’t sure when. I messaged her asking when. No answer. No answer. No answer. I had to finally just book. Drat. Oh well. I felt I was a month out.
And then she answered. I was going RIGHT before her, and she’d be there after I left.
In the same condo of course.
Part of my delay on even going at all was being all on my own when I was in this weird state of mind. I knew I needed it, but I couldn’t relax, yet I couldn’t focus on work. Nothing felt right yet.
When I went last Christmas on my own, the first week was REALLY tough, even though the 2nd week was pure magic.
But I didn’t want to go again to just struggle.
But traveling with someone you know changes things. Michael from Inspired By Charm came to Maui last summer which was like a little miracle in itself. My son was also there too.
I’ve been trying to tag my sis to travel with me, but it’s never worked out.
But now it has.
Tropical garden tour in Maui
I guess that was a long winded way of saying some life chapters are just flat out muddy and confusing. You think you aren’t doing a darn tootin’ thing doing nothing, when really you’re unknowingly probably very hard at work even if it is ‘just waiting’.
Patience is apparently the key.
All I know is, thank goodness for some meandering mindless indecisiveness. AND for the Big Guy in the Sky for having my indecisive planning set in stone LONG before I even knew about it!
Guess it goes without saying, my heavy mood has been ditched, huh?
Are you indecisive too? How do you deal with it?
Read more Therapy 101 Posts HERE