I so miss having a cool DIY to share, or showcase some of my trip adventures. Truth is, I’m playing catch up with appointments galore, and visiting my sweet sister in the hospital, that has just had surgery to remove a bout of cancer. Thanks to those of you that are praying for her healing. I’m so proud of her strength, she is so positive! But the intense radiation treatments are catching up, so your continued thoughts her way are much appreciated.
In other news… I am being a good girl and doing some ‘boring’ DIY. My patio painting is really coming along, and now I’m working on some main trim work. If I can say it’s starting to look like someone finally lives here, that’s a very good thing! 🙂
So… onto today’s reason for posting…
Last night I did something TOTALLY unexpected. I got the opportunity to take a tour through a small farm that I fell in love with about 8 years ago.
This is an older home, complete with a wrap around porch, with a barn out back. It even has a little outbuilding near the road. The place, 8 acres (too big), is set at the base of a mountain, so the backdrop is pretty outstanding.
I’ve dreamed forever that this was my place. You can spot it at the top of one of my mountain bike rides. But I’ve never had ‘the tour’.
It’s come up for sale several times over, but the price was always skyrocket high due to the land attached.
Well, tonight I finally got the tour. A friend had a connection with the owner, and the doors were opened for a walk through today.
I knew I had to see it. It was like… should I hold out hope for a place like this, or is it time to mentally move on? I needed a physical visual… and to ‘feel’ it out.
As I walked up the yard, I had an eerie feeling. It was a mix of coming home to farm land, with a whole lotta dejavu that was attached to my country home I lived in before moving where I currently am.
I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not. The house colour was even the same as my previous home. Weird.
As I walked around the wrap around porch, I thought… oh my goodness… how I’d love to sit out here and just stare. But my mind quickly reverted to remembering how little staring time I had on my past porch. Truth is, it was a ton of upkeep where birds loved to nest, and make a huge mess. Still… there is nothing like a porch…
Walking inside… the ceiling height caught me first. They had to be 10 foot ceilings. Loved that.
But the house was a jumble of small rooms. It felt ‘wrong’ right away, every turn was like walking into another closet. But as my eyes opened up walls, and created larger windows, with a brighter kitchen, it could be amazing.
With a LOT of work. Way over my own head. I’d need a dream team. Dear HGTV…
Moving out towards the barn…. ohhhh that barn I had stared at so long… I was dying of curiosity to what lay inside. So many rooms… wonderful for wood storage, a messy area, and even room to host workshops or retreats!
While the owners have been busy repairing this and insulating that, my first thought was, the windows should be much larger. And why oh why did they hide all those gorgeous beams with plywood? Well, I know why. It was to insulate the barn. But I could see myself pulling a complete Chip and Jo, and gutting it to start over, bringing back the original character.
Over. My. Head.
The yard was utterly charming. Everything I thought it would be. The curvy pathways from the barn to the house, all the mini adventures I could have around the man made pond, wandering through the orchard… lots going on.
But, I’d be mowing all the time. Just like in my last home. With a small drive lawnmower, it took 7 hours to mow… after a double decker upgrade, 3. That’s JUST mow. Am I really asking for that again at this stage of the game?
But the bigger question is… is it even possible to find the perfect country home and barn situated on a small, do-able plot of land? I’m not certain.
I guess I’m blessed to know what it’s like to live on that ‘dream hobby farm’. It’s a lot of work, and you have to be ok with everything never being ‘just so’. But on the same hand, there is nothing like it.
After the tour, I left with a feeling on how overpriced the farm was for its present condition.
But more revealing was, the aesthetic of it all was what I was searching for. The place just felt familiar. Like I had come home. It was easy to pretend it was mine, as I left the property with once again, the unruly willow tree hitting my head on the way out, as I biked onto the main road.
Ahhh…. that was soooooooo fun!
Once home, reality set in. I looked around my place, and was rather shocked how I let it go. Again. I did the same thing when I just moved here. I disrespected it because I didn’t want to live here. But it was when I rolled up my sleeves, and decided to be present, things changed. In fact, a blog and a new career even derived out of it.
Yet I’m doing it again. Remember my camping trips I took to run away from this place? (more of that complete story is HERE) I’ve exchanged camping for Hawaii… with the same result. I am still running.
So… what’s next? What did this lesson in a farmhouse tour ultimately teach me? Or guide me to do?
There’s no mistake here… our current home? It’s a big, important part of my story. It’s fixed up enough to carry on, and tinker on the cosmetic needs, which is within my own reach. It’s trained me to do so many things, but in a non money pit safe way. A new career even came because of it! I’m really blessed to have landed right where I am.
But… when you compare the little farm to where I am, even though both need so much work, there is no comparison. My home is where the farm is, even though I’ve spent 10 years here, and 1 hour there.
I kinda tick me off… I wish I could just ‘be’. Part of me thinks because I was so blessed with this current chapter, that I owe it to stay put and appreciate right where I am.
But, I can spot a page turning. I had that feeling when I left my day job. And giving myself permission to write the continuing story is… difficult. It takes effort. But the rewards? So sweet!
So as I continue on my current path of ‘finishing the house‘, there will be a constant ‘holding me back’ from all the crazy cool things I WANT to do to this place. But… I have to be realistic. While I could turn this into my potential dream home, would I always think it was on the wrong piece of land?
And miss my barn, and unruly willow tree that hit my head on the way out?
Thanks to this little dream farm tour, I think I have the answer to that…
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Are you in your forever home? Is there even such a thing, do you think?