Hi friends!
I so miss having a cool DIY to share, or showcase some of my trip adventures. Truth is, I’m playing catch up with appointments galore, and visiting my sweet sister in the hospital, that has just had surgery to remove a bout of cancer. Thanks to those of you that are praying for her healing. I’m so proud of her strength, she is so positive! But the intense radiation treatments are catching up, so your continued thoughts her way are much appreciated.
In other news… I am being a good girl and doing some ‘boring’ DIY. My patio painting is really coming along, and now I’m working on some main trim work. If I can say it’s starting to look like someone finally lives here, that’s a very good thing! 🙂
So… onto today’s reason for posting…
Last night I did something TOTALLY unexpected. I got the opportunity to take a tour through a small farm that I fell in love with about 8 years ago.
This is an older home, complete with a wrap around porch, with a barn out back. It even has a little outbuilding near the road. The place, 8 acres (too big), is set at the base of a mountain, so the backdrop is pretty outstanding.
I’ve dreamed forever that this was my place. You can spot it at the top of one of my mountain bike rides. But I’ve never had ‘the tour’.
It’s come up for sale several times over, but the price was always skyrocket high due to the land attached.
Well, tonight I finally got the tour. A friend had a connection with the owner, and the doors were opened for a walk through today.
I knew I had to see it. It was like… should I hold out hope for a place like this, or is it time to mentally move on? I needed a physical visual… and to ‘feel’ it out.
As I walked up the yard, I had an eerie feeling. It was a mix of coming home to farm land, with a whole lotta dejavu that was attached to my country home I lived in before moving where I currently am.
I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not. The house colour was even the same as my previous home. Weird.
As I walked around the wrap around porch, I thought… oh my goodness… how I’d love to sit out here and just stare. But my mind quickly reverted to remembering how little staring time I had on my past porch. Truth is, it was a ton of upkeep where birds loved to nest, and make a huge mess. Still… there is nothing like a porch…
Walking inside… the ceiling height caught me first. They had to be 10 foot ceilings. Loved that.
But the house was a jumble of small rooms. It felt ‘wrong’ right away, every turn was like walking into another closet. But as my eyes opened up walls, and created larger windows, with a brighter kitchen, it could be amazing.
With a LOT of work. Way over my own head. I’d need a dream team. Dear HGTV…
Moving out towards the barn…. ohhhh that barn I had stared at so long… I was dying of curiosity to what lay inside. So many rooms… wonderful for wood storage, a messy area, and even room to host workshops or retreats!
While the owners have been busy repairing this and insulating that, my first thought was, the windows should be much larger. And why oh why did they hide all those gorgeous beams with plywood? Well, I know why. It was to insulate the barn. But I could see myself pulling a complete Chip and Jo, and gutting it to start over, bringing back the original character.
Over. My. Head.
The yard was utterly charming. Everything I thought it would be. The curvy pathways from the barn to the house, all the mini adventures I could have around the man made pond, wandering through the orchard… lots going on.
But, I’d be mowing all the time. Just like in my last home. With a small drive lawnmower, it took 7 hours to mow… after a double decker upgrade, 3. That’s JUST mow. Am I really asking for that again at this stage of the game?
But the bigger question is… is it even possible to find the perfect country home and barn situated on a small, do-able plot of land? I’m not certain.
I guess I’m blessed to know what it’s like to live on that ‘dream hobby farm’. It’s a lot of work, and you have to be ok with everything never being ‘just so’. But on the same hand, there is nothing like it.
After the tour, I left with a feeling on how overpriced the farm was for its present condition.
But more revealing was, the aesthetic of it all was what I was searching for. The place just felt familiar. Like I had come home. It was easy to pretend it was mine, as I left the property with once again, the unruly willow tree hitting my head on the way out, as I biked onto the main road.
Ahhh…. that was soooooooo fun!
Once home, reality set in. I looked around my place, and was rather shocked how I let it go. Again. I did the same thing when I just moved here. I disrespected it because I didn’t want to live here. But it was when I rolled up my sleeves, and decided to be present, things changed. In fact, a blog and a new career even derived out of it.
Yet I’m doing it again. Remember my camping trips I took to run away from this place? (more of that complete story is HERE) I’ve exchanged camping for Hawaii… with the same result. I am still running.
So… what’s next? What did this lesson in a farmhouse tour ultimately teach me? Or guide me to do?
There’s no mistake here… our current home? It’s a big, important part of my story. It’s fixed up enough to carry on, and tinker on the cosmetic needs, which is within my own reach. It’s trained me to do so many things, but in a non money pit safe way. A new career even came because of it! I’m really blessed to have landed right where I am.
But… when you compare the little farm to where I am, even though both need so much work, there is no comparison. My home is where the farm is, even though I’ve spent 10 years here, and 1 hour there.
I kinda tick me off… I wish I could just ‘be’. Part of me thinks because I was so blessed with this current chapter, that I owe it to stay put and appreciate right where I am.
But, I can spot a page turning. I had that feeling when I left my day job. And giving myself permission to write the continuing story is… difficult. It takes effort. But the rewards? So sweet!
So as I continue on my current path of ‘finishing the house‘, there will be a constant ‘holding me back’ from all the crazy cool things I WANT to do to this place. But… I have to be realistic. While I could turn this into my potential dream home, would I always think it was on the wrong piece of land?
And miss my barn, and unruly willow tree that hit my head on the way out?
Thanks to this little dream farm tour, I think I have the answer to that…
– – – –
Are you in your forever home? Is there even such a thing, do you think?
My Forever Home…I wish I knew what that felt like. I envy people who are still in the same house 40 years later, the first house they got after they were married, the house they raised their children in, the house that is now seeing their grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. I am currently living in my 10th house-the 6th in my marriage of 27 years. I am sick when I think that if we had stayed put in the first house our mortgage would be paid off by now. But noooo, we have 27 years left on a mortgage for house that I am not allowing myself to be happy in.We sold a large house in the country that was starting to nickel and dime us to death, financially we needed out from under it so we sold it(surprisingly we sold it without a realtor in 44 days, I was not prepared for that). We scrambled to find a house that wasn’t a money pit, saying it would be 3-5 years and we could get our sh*t together and take our time finding the right place. 3 years later,I don’t see the possibility of moving on yet. My children are moved out on their own, no grand children are in their plans. This could be a perfectly nice house, it’s cute, quiet, nice neighbors…yet I am reluctant to do the renovations that would make it mine. I wish I could just let go, “bloom where I am planted”, appreciate what I have.Make this place comfortable instead of stubbornly refusing to spend the money.Why am I like this?
Wow Mary, that’s a lot of moving.
Sounds as if you may have the perfect spot… I guess my ultimate questions would be:
Do you love the style (vibe) of your home, or what it could be?
Do you like your neighbourhood / area?
Is it the right size for you?
Is it near places you frequent?
Could you retire there if you renovated it to suit?
Can you do everything you need to during this current life chapter, or is it holding you back in some way?
If I could say yes to all of the above, I wouldn’t even contemplate moving!
It is not a good home for retirement, Cape Cod style, narrow stairs, narrow doorways-that is a concern if either of us ever need a walker or wheelchair, there is no possible way to reconfigure this house for that situation. Other than our neighbors, there is nothing about this particular house that I speaks to my heart. I will keep dreaming of the possibility of one more move being our last and finally finding MY house.
Think bare land this way you get what you want. Keep dreaming because it keeps us moving forward. Hubby and I are going Tiny house Texas Style at our next place. Should be closing on our land by the end of the month..
Wow Carole… you’re building?! That’s so exciting! What will this new place give you that the old one won’t? So curious why you are moving from your beautiful farm!
And that is true… I never even contemplated bare land. Frankly, that kinda scares me even more than buying a fixer upper! I guess I need to ‘see’ what I’m getting into…
I plan to unfold all this on my blog and in my monthly newsletter. Just following God dream – smaller house so we can do more outdoors. It’s where my heart thrives. We’re not building – Going Tiny house on wheels – 399 square feet. I do love this little farm we’re currently at but we accomplished our goal and it’s just time to move on and let someone else continue caring for this place. Moving further out in the country is the journey we’re on.
A very insightful post Donna! I love the opening of your mind and thoughts to paper. Done very well and thought provoking and familiar. Now this may be a stupid question, but is it possible to somehow construct or change your present shed into something similar to a barn? How much land do you have? If I remember correctly, it isn’t large. An idea of building a barn is probably wacky because of space. A farm and barn does have a heck of a lot of work always needing to be done. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have it on a smaller scale. Maybe the hunger you feel in your soul for it is God’s way of preparing you for a change to come or maybe you’re longing for the past. Growing up on a farm with family that loves you and all that lovely land and animals. Is it that which is driving you — what is represents? I know you have asked yourself these questions. And you are driven by your soul. Maybe God is preparing to open a door for you. I wish you luck trying to figure it all out. It takes time. I think I am in my dream home. We’ve had it for 33 years but I must admit that I’m always feeling a longing, longing for what? Do you know what I mean? I must go to work now but wish you a lovely day and lovely musings and contemplation!
I loved your musings, Joanne!
Truth is, I’ve always felt the home I’m in now was a pitstop. It does feel like home, but it’s a constant juggle with what I presently do. I need the entire house plus… for just me! 🙂
Our yard is an ok size (and obviously too big for me since I don’t keep up with it!) but it can’t house buildings due to the septic system in place. Big minus. Otherwise, I’d have a nice sized, barn or cottage styled shed out there right now. If I decided to stay…
It’s a pull and push thing… I need more space, but I don’t want to manage it! haha
There’s only one thing I do know… God will make it happen if it’s to be. Isn’t it nice that we really don’t have to worry in that regard?
What a wonderful post! I have followed your blog for awhile now and it is exciting to see where you have come from to where you are going. Your creativity, travel and insight have just blossomed. Thanks for sharing Donna !
Hi Donna,
I related to you and today’s post. Looking for the right property was something I was constantly doing and maybe many of your readers do that too. I had answers for my questions like too much mowing. 1, put in a slew of Leyland cypress so I reduced the mowing, created a gravel yard for sculptures and junk art, no mowing, Fenced an area for rent out as a horse pasture, no mowing, plus a lovely horse to look at. Rent out acreage at a cheap rate for a local farmer to use, no mowing, plus a bit of income. There are lots of answers to make a property work, even if there are lots of reno’s to make, but the key thing to think about is make sure you have at least 10 to 15 years to make all the changes you want, and so that you have the time to complete everything while you are still able. Consider if you will want to be in the property when doing for yourself becomes difficult. By all means continue to search because it does not sound like you would be happy to stay in your current home for the rest of your life. Wishing you all the best, Liz
Super valid points! I’ve managed my last 5 acred property much like you wrote. It was a lot of juggling, but it did work. But when things dwindled down to ‘just me’, I know now it would have been too much.
I’m also not interested in a mortgage, so I’d have to move out of my region. Another big, scary step.
The good news is, I don’t have to do a thing if I don’t want to! So peeking around can’t hurt… right??
Famous last words… last time I went to ‘just look’ at cats, I came home with TWO! 😀
We purchased our dream place four years ago with the intention of moving in five. So we have been going back and forth on the weekends, mowing, painting, fixing up. And I’ve disrespected our current city house. This year I looked around and was shocked at how sad it looked. I’ve started sprucing it up, getting it ready for its eventual sale. It’s been a good home for us but I’ve felt that pull to move on and live our dream. Fingers crossed it really does work out for next year!
I say go with the tuggings of your heart. Maybe it will be your forever place and maybe it won’t be but you never know until you try.
Good Morning,
Wonderful words to read today!!
I too am always running to the next and best thing (my mind is anyway) and have a fixer upper that I long to run away from…..or finish into my dream home,( haven’t decided on that one yet…lol)
I often have to remind myself that I must enjoy this one moment that I have right now, I try to do that with “this” house as well. I have been in the house 18 years now and you would think that I would have decided how I feel about it by this time. I raised my daughter as a single mother and that covered up alot of the thinking about the house. Now she is grown and I must decide what to do. Guess I am slow. Or God has a plan and I am working his plan and just haven’t realized it yet….lolol
Thanks for writing. I appreciate your blogs often AND you have inspired me to ride my bike more often 🙂
Lisa
tomasomally@hotmail.com
Ohhhh Lisa, that is the struggle I face every day. Stay and spend or move on? I’m also with you on not being in a rush. I like taking the time to enjoy the moment.
I often think about landing in some home that I can’t manage, when this place was perfectly sound. That scares me enough to no longer fret! 🙂
I recently sold my dream home. Hubby and I moved a Victorian house to 2/3rds of an acre. We had big dreams and many obstacles. For one, the remodeling contractor who was hired to do the big renovations was crooked and after we resolved issues with him (2 years to get him to go to arbitration), then my mother and husband died within three years of each other. I was left to finish the renovation and to take care of the land.
The take-away I’d like for you is that as you age (like we all do), you may not be able to manage a big property by yourself without help and help costs money. If you are okay with this, then go for it. I’d never want to dash your dreams. but I also hope you remain realistic.
I realized after living in my dream home for 9 years after hubby died that it took a toll. I didn’t want to pay $200-400/mo to have someone mow it, so I mowed/weed-whacked it myself, but that often took an entire weekend. I also maintained all of the garden beds, and they were huge.
Trades people–A/C repairmen, house painters, plumbers, remodeling contractors, etc.– would look at my house and see dollar signs, and some would give outrageous quotes for their work. They didn’t realize my hubby had been the money-maker. Perhaps this wouldn’t happen to you.
The house ultimately was too big for me living alone and the claw foot tubs, while lovely, were not practical if you’d had surgery. I’d always thought I’d remarry, but that didn’t happen. Furthermore, not once in the time I lived there was all 3,075 sq ft clean. I couldn’t keep it clean so I rarely invited anyone over.
I decided I needed less land and a smaller house with lots of personality and a large yard.
In my current home, I have a HUGE backyard, which is a “must have” for my gardening addiction and dogs, but it’s not 2/3rds acre. The house is brick so I don’t have to paint anything but the trim. It also has charm. It still needs work (especially the bathroom), but I’ll get it done sooner or later.
If you do buy big land and lease parts of it out, realize the leasers may not come through on their end of the deal or they may have practices you might not like such as spraying their crops with toxic pesticides. It’s a trade off.
My 78 y/o friend lives on 5 acres and can no longer maintain it. (Her husband died 3 years ago.) She also can’t sell the property and has no money to make repairs to her house, so it’s a real hardship for her. Her church, however, helps her as much as they can.
I hope this post isn’t a “Debbie Downer” because it’s not mean to be. I would live in the country in a heartbeat if I were married and had a bunch of kids.
Not a downer at all! You are speaking totally realistically. A land needs to be worked, whether it’s mowed, gardened, leased or otherwise. It’s like a little business all its own to keep everything neat and tidy.
We split our hay field with the farmer who did the work. We boarded horses, which was fine, until an owner decides to disappear. The mowing was endless. The weeding? Forget it. LOL
I think when I ran through that strange feeling when visiting the farm, all those old reminders popped up. My last home was my dream home too, but I couldn’t afford / manage it on my own either.
Funny how ones own life situation dictates where you live as well.
Incidentally, the house where I’m at now would make the perfect retirement home. LOL Maybe I should just look at little lakeside cottage getaways AND stay put!
Hi Donna…I understand your need to wander and find peace. I noticed in your last reply to someone you mentioned a lakeside getaway. That might be the answer to your dilemma. Someone also mentioned “aging” and it does take a lot to maintain what you are looking for. When we bought our house, I loved it. It had a small creek running through the huge yard. This creek (with neighborhoods building around us) turned into a flood zone. Now I’m divorced, on oxygen and paying someone to mow this huge yard. I have a son, but he is very busy at work and can’t help much. Keep all this in mind when you get the “urge” sweetie. My wish for you is peace of mind 🙂
i am in my forever home on my family land. I need to do some update on the outside and the inside. but it is still the most beautiful place to be on this earth. I love it.
Does thirty-one years count as “forever”? I know we won’t be staying here many more years as we’re aging and will need a one level home to age in place. But we’ve added a bathroom, gutted and re-did the kitchen from top to bottom twenty-five years ago and I’m still very happy with it. We finihed the basement, first building my husband his man cave for the big TV. Two years ago I finished the laundry/storage/craft area into a pretty and functional space. Years ago we ripped out our mossy lawn and put in garden spaces and patios and turned our back yard into a garden room we live in five months a year.
It’s not forever but we’ve sure poured a lot of love into this house and been vey happy here. In a few years, it will be time for another family to fall in love with it and make it theirs.
Such a great post! I like my house and I feel intensely grateful for the roof over my family’s head, but I do wish we could move. We settled here to be close to my best friend, but she passed away in 2003, so I don’t really know why we’re here anymore.
My son loves his school, but there are good schools everywhere. My husband works from home most days, but when he does have to go to the office, the commute is a killer – over an hour each way in unforgiving traffic. And our families are far away. We are so far south that no one ever comes over. Holiday gatherings are difficult and I love to entertain, so that depresses me.
We have no privacy either. The neighbors can see right in. The curtains on our five south side windows have been drawn since we put them up 16 years ago.
We are lucky to have a house. We really are. I know this without a doubt, but my dream home is still out there somewhere. Unfortunately, we don’t have the financial resources to find it…or even to address repairs and updates needed in our current home.
In the back of my mind, I feel all the time like I am waiting for something to happen. How do you get over that feeling? How do you push yourself from waiting to doing and making things happen on your own?
Hey Becky!
I just absolutely love your last question. For me, when I feel like I can’t stand a given situation any longer, I PUSH myself to try and change it. But that requires changing my ways in order to get different results. It’s hard… and takes energy and focus, and a ton of effort. I think that’s why many of us prefer to wait… waiting is much more effortless.
While I think it’s healthy to set goals and have dreams, I also feel it’s important to seize the day, and enjoy your ‘present’. But if you aren’t, imo something is hugely amiss and needs addressing. It’s when we don’t listen to that call, we are miserable.
Being grateful for what we have is a must, which you already have nailed. But perhaps it’s time to take a Sunday drive just to check things out… the drive is free. But it could be a starting point, opening up many new doors for all of you. I landed my first dream farm via a Sunday drive with NO intentions to sell…
when it’s right you’ll know!
We moved into our country home 2yrs ago. We were not looking to move at the time.
Our home is perfect for now and we do several things that have been mentioned. The farmer beside us uses 3 1/2 acres for cows(I love them). This cuts down my mow time to 3hrs.
I doubt it will be our forever home. I can see us heading back to the west coast down the road. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of having a home forever.
You have a good idea with a vacation property. We have a cabin getaway and we love it.
Exciting time for you, enjoy
My husband found his forever home a few months ago. It’s on the lake and it includes a covered dock just a short walk from the deck off the back of the house. There’s just one problem. It’s $150,000 more than our budget will stretch. I keep telling him we need to go look at it just to either confirm it’s what he thinks it is or confirm that it isn’t. And if it is, maybe we could sit down and figure out a way to get there… and if it isn’t, then it would no longer interfere with his ability to move on and find something that is!
Since he hasn’t done that, and months have gone by… I think he enjoys the dreaming more than the reality….
In the meantime I’m thoroughly enjoying my forever home….(smile)
I will probably die here. This was my parents’ home and I was here with each of them when they passed. It’s not my dream home. I want to be on water. I watch the ads. I’m retired and am not up for a fixer upper or, like you , don’t want more lawn to maintain. I got to go to Hawaii in Feb. after saving for several years. I wanted to just stay but family would guilt me in to returning. I have decided to fix this up slowly to more my taste until the perfect lake house comes my way. I’m sp practical when it comes to money I could never justify an over priced house that needed a lot of work. Good luck, I will follow you anywhere.
Donna – I enjoyed this post because it could be my story! God is so faithful to guide us if we let Him and I believe He gives us that urge in our heart to go forward! I have enjoyed reading about your incredible story thus far! Praying for you as you go where He leads!
Being in the military I’ve moved a lot, lived in military housing too. Always I dreamed of having an old farmhouse on an acreage. In 2009 I was on a ten month tour in Afghanistan, living in a seacan. I knew when I got back we would be posted but no idea where, didn’t stop me from dreaming. Every minute I could I was on the MLS looking for places around different bases where I hoped to go, see this would be our last posting as I was nearing retirement. Then one day there it was, a 100+ year old Victorian farmhouse on 9 acres and half an hour commute to a base. It was empty and I didn’t like the look of it, couldn’t figure out the layout be the photos but I saved it anyway and continued to look. Over the months on tour something kept drawing me back to that house, but I was just dreaming really what were the chances I would be sent to that base and that house would still be available in 2010? But I was dreaming and it kept my mind off of other things, so I emailed the realtor and she drew me a floor plan so I could understand the layout (two stairways), still dreaming I asked a bunch of questions, viewed google earth to see the lay of the land. By the end of the tour I had re drawn that floor plan, imagined a big deck off the back which then morphed into an addition, put a new porch on the front (there wasn’t one) and mentally decorated probably a thousand times.
Then I went home in Edmonton, back to normal life and waited for the army to tell me where we would move to. Six months later flew out to Ontario to visit my mom, and well the house was still drawing me, what the hell it was only a three hour drive away and still on the market. Yup called the realtor I just had to see it in person. So I did, the original hardwood floors, tin ceiling in the kitchen, 10 foot ceilings and those two stairways. I laid on the floor in what I had always planned to be our bedroom and thought why am I torturing myself?
Went home to Edmonton life carried on and the army finally decide where to send me, it’s now 2010. Going to Kingston, Ontario! The house still on the market! It was meant to be, it was waiting for us! It’s ours! On closing I met the owners, they never lived in the house just restored it. I sat on the front deck with Ross the previous owner having a drink and watching the wild turkeys and he said to me “you were meant to be here, this house waited for you”, in the two years it was on the market they had only received one absurdly low offer. There was nothing wrong with the house, all restored, new wiring, plumbing, septic and well. Our house!
So now it’s 2016, we’ve been here six years, fenced over two acres for our four dogs, added that addition on the back which is now our living room with a big woodstove that heats the whole house, tore off the front deck and put on a big covered front deck that looks like it’s always been there and fixed up the shed which now has my 1930s wood cook stove in it and a greenhouse bump out. Is it possible to not just love a house but be in love with a house? I think so!
We still have things to do like build a garage/barn and I’m redoing the kitchen little by little but this is it, our forever home. In the evenings sitting on the porch with my husband listening to the loons on the lake accross the road (we can’t see it just hear it), surrounded by farmers fields I feel rooted, and blessed. In a couple of months I retire after thirty years of military service, I’m home.
Barb, thank you for your amazing love story! I know exactly what you mean, right to the letter. I went through something very similar with my last farmhouse home. Went out for a Sunday drive to a new area, and BAM… there it was. For Sale. But our home wasn’t. We weren’t moving! Or were we… 🙂 The house waited for me too!
YES! I feel in my heart that I am in my forever home, my forever changing home. My husband and I moved here in 1989 when we were married. We have a funky tri level house on 5 acres with a detached garage and a horse barn. Our two children grew up here, we planted every tree on the property, they raised their 4-H animals here, we grew our own food and etc….they have since moved out to be on their own. We were lucky enough to purchase the property across the street as well with the dream they will move back to raise families. Was it my dream home, I think I was too young to even know what that would be, this is just where we lived, but over time our house grew with us. We painted, knocked down walls, planted things, but it always felt wrong for some reason, especially when we would visit people who lived in the city and their new track homes were so clean and crisp and bright and airy. I would come home and think our home was a dump. (it wasn’t) Slowly we changed things, with his heels dug in deep, my husband would allow the crazy changes I was trying to do even though I didn’t know what that was really. I am great at starting projects. too many at once. Then came blogs. Oh my, a whole new world of yes you can!! I would tell him things I wanted to do, but he has no vision. skills galore, but no vision, until now. I have a dream of a light airy farmhouse, and room by room, it is changing right along with us. I have had your farmhouse bathroom window saved to my computer for some time and I am happy to say we now have the same look. (THANK YOU by the way) My husband followed your instructions on your blog, because if it’s been done before then it must be ok, I have also convinced him to put in plywood floors from some blog somewhere. This took over a year of convincing, but we have loved our floors for over a year now. OK rambling, sorry. The answer is YES! I am in my forever home that is growing along with me, it has protected me and I will protect it. So many memories here, and more to be made.