#1. Today’s my Mom’s birthday.
For the newcomers, my mom passed away last March so we are still traveling through our year of firsts. This is the last first. She passed away right after her birthday.
While our year of firsts is coming to a close, the memories most certainly aren’t.
My sweet mom. How I miss her friendly clutter on her counter tops, warm lingering hugs and hesitant, pleasant phonecalls, always wondering if she caught me at a bad time. Her voice is still on her answering machine, so we can ‘hear’ her anytime. And my sis reports, many hangups come through.
She always had goodies on her kitchen table. Like, always. 🙂 I remember when I was dieting, I avoided going there for a short spell because of all those chocolates sitting in the wide open spaces just free for the taking!
Oh.. loads of memories to smile at.
I took a full photo shoot of her home shortly after her passing. As hard as it was to look at the photos tonight, it was also heartwarming. I’m so glad I have them. I’ll be making a private family video from them and I think it’s time to start that project at long last.
But there was a reason I was holding off from making it. I was waiting for…
#2. Her house to be sold.
And it finally has. Just. In a few days I’ll be emptying all my staging efforts and filtering them back into my own home decor once again.
Funky junk in my mom’s house. Imagine. 🙂
Would you like a peek one last time at her staged home?
It’s HERE in magazine format.
All at once. A birthday, a passing and finally, a sale.
Well, I’m going to do my best to bring my son continued
Memories of my Mom
(you need to go get a coffee or something… this is endless!)
My Mom loved coming to our farm (the house before the one I’m in now) for entire weekends. It was a 45 min drive between us, so for her, it was better to come on Friday and leave on Sunday. She started doing this when my son was a newborn, so we had lots of girlie/baby weekends. She wanted to be a grandma while I tended to the yard or had a good nap.
As my son grew, her visits didn’t diminish. She loved to walk the veranda, or sit on the massive swing I had built by a real carpenter. It was the kind that reached high into the sky and had the longest back and forth sway you could imagine.
One of her very favorite things to do was sit on the edge of the sandbox and dig dig dig and play play play with my boy. The sandbox was HUGE so there was lots of digging and finding lost treasures to be had. And she always welcomed a fresh cup of coffee by her side. We did coffee together quite nicely.
Something that really struck her fancy? The chickens. Cody would walk right up to them and pick them up like they were cats. She took picture after picture of this and proudly displayed them to anyone that she came in contact with.
When Cody got his first bike, she was there on the road, watching him make those training wheels work as hard as they possibly could. She loved our quiet country road with the massive willow leaning completely over the works.
And she was creative. She liked to walk the 5 acres with Cody and look for moss on trees. MOSS ON TREES. Honestly, she could make a game out of completely nothing, she was just that awesome. I have a few pictures somewhere of them moss hunting to prove it. 🙂
I got closer to her during these times than when I lived with her! And she told me the same thing one day… “You know, I really love coming here. I feel so much closer to you now than I think I ever have. These weekends? They’re GOOD for us!” I’m so on board with that, mom.
Oh, and we took her camping with us! She’d wear the biggest hat, longest pants and warmest socks to the beach. AND sat in the shade. Luckily it was easy to make sand castles under the trees too so those two got the shade, I got the sun and we were a happy bunch.
And hey, it wasn’t all about daughter grandson time when she came along. She made friends with a lovely lady that camped there with her daughter as well. I mean, come on. They’re holding hands!
By the way, that lady on the right, one time she watched me find 7 4 leaf clovers all in one sitting and she nearly fainted. She told me without question incredible things would happen for me and the way she said it startled me into believing it! I was just needing to hear it at the time because of the troubles I had in my personal life, so she really filled some empty spots for all of us. Great memory!
When Cody had just learned to walk, he was a crazy boy at the campground. He’d dart towards whatever he shouldn’t. So mom and I came up with a grand plan to remove his shoes and socks so the rocks would slow him down. Worked like a charm. 🙂
And then, things progressed. Driving became difficult for her so our weekends were scattered moreso. I actually ended up moving closer to her after my divorce, so we started going to her place instead. We even stayed the night on occasion. Boy, was she a night owl in her own home! We’d head for bed and she’d be loading the dishwasher or starting a load of laundry well into the wee hours. And then fall asleep on her recliner of course. 🙂 I’d gently scold her and tell her to hit the hay already. And she listened too! I think she liked it when there was someone to guide her around. I kinda know how she feels now. I wish for that too at times.
Yup. Us single chicks. Aren’t we hip, eh mom? 🙂
A year before she passed, I saw her getting weaker. So I upped the ante on our visits. Rather than Cody going to sports or swimming lessons, we took the year off and went swimming at her condo instead once a week. Her amazing condo pool like no other. It was always empty, spotless and the warmest dip we’ve ever had. Not to mention the heated tile floors in the changing rooms! Boy we were spoiled in the best way possible. Mom loved it when we came and used ‘her’ pool.
Oh. And we went on Thursdays so we could get her hooked on Survivor with us. We’d pick up a pizza, swim, then had coffee and yelped at how silly those challenges were. During the commercials? I’d get up and stage stuff for her. By the time we left, she had a new home. 🙂
Each time we swam, I looked at her with that longing of never wanting the moment of her company to end.
But… that wasn’t to be. Life pulls ahead and you’re left trying to figure it all out. One day at a time.
I admit, I muddle alot. I flip flop, I criss cross, I give up, I go full tilt. I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time yet I know exactly what I’m up to. Nothing and everything makes sense. In other words? We wing life day by day and attempt to rejoice with what we have and where we’re at.
Boy I miss my best friend and biggest fan. But we will be ok.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I know you don’t want us to be sad. For the most part, you’d be really proud of us! We stay busy, happy and productive, which is what you would have adored. You never wanted us to hurt.
But we don’t hurt in a bad way. It’s a comfort knowing you are in Good Hands. What more could we ask for?
Do they celebrate birthdays in Heaven? I guess we’ll have to find out for ourselves. Until then, whatever it is you do up there, I know you’re in good company.
I was just thinking today that you’re finally with your own dad you lost when you were a young girl. And YOUR mom! And my Dad. 🙂 Oh but you must be having the grandest of times!
To sum up our year of firsts without you? I won’t lie. It was painful. But I think we handled it with style. We had friends that came to our rescue when needed, and our family connected. Christmas in your home one last time was wild!
Anyway, I just called your phone to wish you a Happy Birthday. Sorry my voice cracked abit. But I have a feeling I won’t be the only one to call today.
Mom, I sure hope you don’t mind me sharing some of this on my blog. Others are hurting for their loved ones that have passed on as well. I just wanted to share how I cope in order to help someone else in a similar place.
Happy Birthday! And thanks for nudging God into finding that special buyer for your home when W asked you to help. You’ve always been abit of a party planner type. 🙂
I love you!
If you have a few prayers to spare, our family could use them today and in the next couple weeks.
You can catch up on this topic HERE.
And some other stuff on my off topic blog HERE.