Every morning, I bring my coffee out to the pallet wood sofa to begin my day.
This is the spot where I linger a little too long, waiting until the mental morning fog lifts.
It usually takes about 2 cups…
Oh the bike rides! Entering the forest was like rolling through a scratch and sniff fragrant storybook. The scent of pine filled the air, while the trees temporarily removed the intense heat offering a brief relief.
Even our drying river created private beaches!
And let’s not forget about the abundant sweet blackberry snacks along the way.
It’s been magnificent.
So after many MANY days of this new-to-us heat, the clouds finally moved in, the inside rooms grew dark and it started to rain.
West coasters in BC are not new to rain. We pay a hefty price for our green. We basically are the Canadian version of Ireland.
I think. I’ve yet to go there but I’ve been staring madly at the place for a few years now. It’s definitely calling me. Maybe next year I’ll have the nerve to finally leave North America on my own?
So I wandered over to my indoor sofa instead.
Egads. That’s when my eyes darted around my home and saw all the things that need tending to.
Wasn’t exactly what I had in mind here! My quiet mindful time gazing at nature that didn’t need me for anything wasn’t there.
Yes. This rain country residing Canadian is fighting fall thankyouverymuch.
All the pads and pillows came indoors because the roof somewhat leaks on occasion.
All outdoor cozy comforts are gone.
I’m sure there will be some sunny days ahead so I can enjoy my outdoor bistro area again… I can hope!
And for those days, I’ll no doubt bring out all the fluffy touches once again, and perhaps even light up that propane fire pit while I cozy up under a blanket or two.
An end of an outdoor season is so much like real life. Seasons will always revolve and change. The transition can be met with resistance, or we can simply roll with things we cannot change finding the good in them.
So why do we get so stuck in these ‘things’ that we sometimes just can’t shake?
I suppose it’s because we found so much value in them? We grieve when there’s a change we haven’t prepared for.
One of my behaviour classes was on how to cope with things we can’t change but wish we could. The premise was about buying time so we could tolerate the moment until it could pass.
Our homework was to set up a Tool Kit of sorts of enjoyable distractions that could buy us time during that tolerance transition.
1. Make a list of little things you enjoy doing. Mini vacations if you will. Ideas:
ie: watching a favorite show, petting your cats, sinking in allowing your first cup of coffee to do all the talking, a bike ride, a walk, sitting under your favorite tree, whatever YOU enjoy…
2. Find a box, and place physical objects in the box that bring you instant joy. Ideas:
stress ball, favorite scented lotion, picture of your fav vacation spot (that you will be going to soon, otherwise I think this would depress me! haha), a magazine or book, your fav loose leaf herbal tea (make it special!), chocolate…
So when you hit a place that throws you in a slump, bring out your tool kit, pick an item on the list or pull out one of your chosen trinkets and become super mindful of THAT moment. Let the rest go. For now.
Here are some other helpful tips from my manual spun with some of my own words…
– – – – –
We all have choices on how we accept something. We can either:
* solve the problem (if possible)
* change how you feel about it
* accept it
* stay miserable
* act on your impulsive urges, making things worse.
When you can’t solve the problem or change your emotions, try acceptance.
Acceptance is indeed a choice.
It’s like coming to a fork in the road. Turn to the rejecting side, and you’ll likely be met with unhappiness, disappointment, depression, bitterness… etc. Turn to the accepting side, and you will find that life IS worth living, even during painful moments. And quite possibly, you may come to some very unexpected circumstances that could end up better than ever.
Just know, acceptance does not mean approval. However it’s a lifeskill that will help you get through some tough times you can’t change at the moment anyway.
– – – – –
Here, lemme give this a go…
Buffalo check table post HERE
Snowflake pillow sofa post HERE
“I accept that it could rain for DAYYYYSSSSS on end (sob) so don’t mind me as I grab another coffee and dream up ways to make my indoor sofa spot more welcoming each morning…”
How did I do?!
Now excuse me while I go find all those pillows again…
p.s. I just made a list of some things that bothered me. Fall weather was one.
But I also noted I had the power to change most of them.
While I can’t change the weather, I can choose where to live… or even how to revamp the patio for all season enjoyment… another dream revamp for the list!
This post proved to be a a real eye opener…
What are you having trouble accepting? Are you fighting the changing season too?
And where do you spend your first coffee? I could use some fresh ideas..
Read more Therapy 101 posts HERE