Do you ever get the feeling that you’re about to embark on something spectacular, but can’t put your finger on it?
Let me rephrase that a little… I feel changes in the air, but I don’t know yet what they are. But my optimism, gifted to me by my mom, ensures that I have the capability to turn this into a wonderful thing.
For years, my first priority was overseeing my young son’s every move. He’s now a teen… so things were bound to change a little. I still oversee, and will always do that of course. That’s just what parents do.
But this season is different. I’m finding myself alone in my home more.
Well, not quite. My two, happy, ever loving on me cats are always within arm’s reach. Who knew that their importance to exist would become even more so in the coming years?
Actually, I did know that. When I picked them up, I carefully calculated the years in which they’d probably survive, possibly even out survive me.
“You guys will always be with me, long after my son moves out. I will become ‘that crazy cat lady’ that spoils you rotten in the very best of ways!”
As I made today’s breakfast, and sat alone at the large kitchen island, my fork clanking against the plate felt a little louder. I felt space in more ways than one. I was alone in my thoughts.
I was forewarned that this season would fast approach. And it’s a good and natural one. But so very different from even just a short year ago. Honestly? I don’t quite know what to do with myself.
Circumstances have always dictated what I do. If there was an appointment to rush to, that’s what I would do. A meeting? Time to quickly fill a travel mug with piping hot brew for the road.
But lately, more of those deciding moments have been gifted back to me, as if to say, “Here’s a taste test of what it’ll be like when your time is truly yours. But for now, what would you like to do with x amount of hours ahead?”
Time limits are still in effect, but those gifted moments are coming up more frequently now. Which has me thinking of different ways to prep for them. If I even do.
More often than not, when I’m faced with yet another unfamiliar, quiet moment, rather than jump online (which I frequently have in the past), I’m more inclined to head for the bike, waiting for me in the entryway.
The helmut hangs on a coffee sign on the wall right behind the bike. Bike baskets waiting to be filled with fresh water, and possibly a travel mug filled with coffee in order to catch the sunset in my own special way in front of the river.
Now can you see why I tend to gravitate towards the bike? The bike always seems to win. Maybe it’s a sign of something new in the air. What else am I destined to do? The bike rides take me away from the online, noisy world, and give me a little more space to think, dream, and plot.
What I do know is, I’m more hungry to read words from others rather than just look at pretty pictures. I’ve developed a fever of digging deep within someone’s soul through words. What can I learn from them? Where will they transport me today?
I’ve been positively dying to get some of this in words myself, so today’s the day. Today I’m going to start a weekly journal that will take you along with me for those that desire to dig a little deeper beneath the surface of life as we know it.
What’s really going on? That’s what you will hear.
So for those just looking for junk, you may wish to bypass anything titled ‘journal’.
But for those that want a little more fuel to add to their day in a new way, welcome aboard to my crazy little unpredictable life as I know it.
Funny… for the past week, I haven’t been able to pick up a plank of wood at all, because my thoughts have been on these other life things. Feeling completely guilt ridden, I’ve been thinking, I should be DIYing. I should do this. I should do that. Should should should.
See this old signs coat hook area HERE
But I just couldn’t. So I cleaned my house instead. It needed it. I think we should all take a week off of life as we know it, to just CLEAN!
Which actually did lead to a few new revamps. Who knew? I’ll show you some soon!
But more importantly, my life was overtaken by events that just became louder, or more important than a simple DIY. Because things ARE different.
Yet this entry took a mere few minutes to belt out.
I guess we should start listening to our hearts a little more…
So… here’s why I feel it’s important to share this.
I believe we are ALL starting something new. Maybe it’s the promise of a new family member. Or one moving on. Some may view some changes as a loss. But no matter where you are? I encourage you to flip your change into a GAIN.
I believe changes occur when your story is simply due for a new chapter. And if you don’t follow your heart, you’re holding yourself back.
Run towards the whispers! Allow them to take you where you need to go and be!
I just feel a bigger, newer, much braver story coming on with myself. And it’s my hope that by telling mine as it unfolds, it’ll give you more courage to move forward with yours.
Welcome to my journal!
* What changing story do you feel coming on? *
I love your first journal entry! I’ve been blessed with never-ending optimism, and I always know I’ll get through things. I call it faith, and whether you take that in a spiritual way or not, it’s what keeps me going. I’ll definitely be checking out your journal entries!
Seasons in our lives are only blurs unless we mark them with milestones, corner stones or memories. Somehow memories fade unless you find an old photo, read a journal, visit with friends. History is important and unless we take the time to read about it, walk among it, discover it or listen to it it is lost. Perhaps your new adventure will encourage us to slow down, listen, read, discover, hike, bike, walk our lives toward the finish line, not always running towards the next season, but cherishing the one we are in.
Loved your post Donna! It seems my life is always changing dramatically in small ways, if that makes any sense. I’m a military spouse, and my life seems to rotate alot around my husband’s ever changing schedule. But he finally retires next year, in which we all will have a different life, hopefully more steady. But soon, my youngest will be starting school and oldest in junior high and I will have alot more time as well!! So, can’t wait to see where your time takes you.
Thanks for sharing Donna
Still dark out I sat down at my desk with my coffee and your first journal entry. I congratulate you on being able to share yourself with all of us.
I wonder…have you ever dreamed of writing a book or teaching?
Courage was my word for 2016… I believe we all need a little!
Looking forward to your posts titled ‘journal’
Hey Jane, yes, a book-book is on my bucket list. I have a pending offer that will remain open until I’m ready. How generous is that?!
Wow! What a timely blog. My adult son just bought his own house and moved out this weekend. We are now “official empty nesters”, so I am feeling a little bitter – sweet. But I am really excited about decorating his empty room!!
Oh Peggy, I’m afraid to look that far ahead… cleaning my son’s room would be very bitter sweet indeed… it’s a great room, double the space of a normal one, so there’s a little excitement in the thought as well.
Think positive, think positive.. haha
What a great way to start my day. Thank you for that. I, too, feel a newer, braver story coming on.
The house is so quiet. No pitter patters on the floor, no “MOM”! shouting down the stairs and no more coming home to cereal bowls in the sink and crumbs on the counter from rushing out the door for school or practice.
It’s too quiet but I am looking forward to how I am going to learn to appreciate it. I’m looking forward to unveiling more of me. I love the journey and the unfolding of a deeper and more meaningful life.
DIY can wait…another day.
Hi Donna,
Great post. I’m quitting my day job in 2 1/2 weeks! Been working for 40 years – seems unbelievable. Plan to start a blog, researching becoming a private label seller on Amazon. Exciting adventures are ahead. Can’t wait to see where this new journey takes me.
Carla
I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE….it even made me cry today well a lot of your blogs do..(in a good way). I will love to follow your journal..!!
I write in my journal everyday or get caught up on it after the weekend if we get motivated..lol
My life at this point isn’t very interesting, fulfilling as I may like, course it’s my fault. I am a PROCRASTINATOR to the end.. no motivation what so ever.
I remember those days when my daughter was slowly disappearing from the nest, she’s now 36,it is lonely but atleast you are a blogger and fill your time that way. I have been trying to get a job recently but to avail maybe coz’ it’s really not what I want to do..!!Hence I’m not quit sure what I really want to do. I should really have a career by this age (54) yikes that’s even hard to say…lol I’ll be able to claim my senior discount at restaurants in October…lol
Sorry for all the jib jab, I guess I just needed to vent..
I will follow your journal maybe it’ll get me motivated..!! Thanks
Good for you! I’ll follow along.
Donna, love your post today and congrats for finding yourself on a “growing edge”! Growing edges can sometimes be tough but they are always worth it! Keep looking for the good in all your experiences and you’ll find yourself growing in amazing ways!! xxxx
It’s serendipity that you wrote this. Just last night my husband and I were discussing the changes which lie ahead as I grow closer to retirement (he’s younger). A house to sell? One to buy? How to downsize while I ramp up my flea market business?
Our goal is to own a home outright, and we’re close to that. But how will our lives, day-to-day, actually play out? We’re planning a conversation with our CPA and financial planner in the next month, so that the critical financial decisions of the next 2-3 years are thoughtfully made. This new life has been off in the distance, but now it’s right in front of us. I hope we can find joy, a sense of adventure and continued creativity in this new phase.
Oh Donna, how timely and thanks so much for sharing your innermost thoughts and soul. I have been feeling and dealing with change for a couple of years now and I think it’s important to do as you say and look upon the changes as a gain and not a loss. But at this point, I do feel the loss. You know the typical losses. Loss of endurance physically and mentally. Really a lot of loss in these two areas. Problems with a son who does well for a while and then doesn’t. My heart breaks, but I’m getting a little better at letting go of the worry. Some things I just can’t do anything about. At least he is in this world and finding his way in his way! Oh my, I am so worn out by HIS WAY! But I keep on trying. It helps that our family is close and support each other. And I have God. I’ve been looking upon my life as being in a new chapter. An older, wiser one. I know I’m not old. Got a ways to go but I am 57 and feel it. And I’m athinking, what am I going to do with what is ahead. Not view it as what is left, but what is ahead. And it’s kinda neat to be here. And I know what you mean about should, should, should! Oh good grief, there is always should! But I can turn that around and think I should try that. I should take care of myself. I should be a little more patient with myself. I’m on a journey. Change doesn’t come easy for me, but I can do it. And a part of me is looking forward to the changes. Always a trade off in life, but I can be flexible and thankful and go forward. So much to learn and enjoy and participate in and so many to love and help. I love people and bringing hope, healing and love to them. Oh well, I went on and thank you for your time. This is great therapy! Makes me think of Barbara Streisand and her singing that people who need people are the luckiest people in the world. Thanks to you for being one of the people in my world and the same for your readers. Their comments are really helpful!
This is a small message of encouragement for Joanne Taggart. Life is busy and very consuming of mom’s time. A quick story that I have an older sister and brother I’m the youngest at 49. We lost my mom two years ago and my father is living in a residence within our community to make it easier. We put alot of pressure on ourselves to be there for everyone. My sister, brother and I have kept this pace up for two years and is physically and mentally taking a toll on us. My sister and I have a day during the week that we reserve for us to talk about everything else not about my dads health. You need to steal time for you even if you don’t feel up to it. Go for a walk, listen to inspiring music, talk to a friend and try to laugh even if you don’t feel it, it will come eventually. You need to fake it until you make it. Remember all of us mom’s or not women in general are more or less going through the same things. Don’t hold your breath and wait to clear stuff because it won’t happen. Reserve time for yourself! Best Wishes Carol
Thank you Carol for your uplifting words. I am getting better at reserving time for myself. And I particularly appreciated the idea of you and your sister taking one day a week and talking about anything except your Dad’s health. It’s like you give yourself permission to take a break and that is so important. Thank you very much for thinking of me.
Write on, my friend. I will be reading every word.
Great read!!! Your right something new is in the air. A new beginning. I finally feel it after moving across country with hubby’s work and then being fortunate to help out with grandchildren due to military service that will soon end for daughter. New house, new people, new ideas (which you get me started on). What fun we are going to have.
Oh, how I love the journeys my bike riding has taken me on as they often been journeys that have restored and revived my heart as well. So I can relate t:). Last year, we had to move. It’s been beyond hard and I haven’t allowed the change to be my gain. This fall, our 4th child of five will be off to college. It will be another time of new beginnings as it will be 24 years since I had just one child in the house…. Thank you for the challenge, the inspiration, to let go of what was and embrace new beginnings.
I have found out the older I get the quicker the new seasons come! Your words touched me just where I needed it today!
Thank you for sharing your heart, you are an inspiration.
All I can say is …….WOW. I am in much the same place (frame of mind!) these days and wonder what the future could hold. My husband of 33 years and I have two grown (except that I still hear “Mom, how do you……. or Mom, where do I look …….even Mom, what aisle do I find this on in the store?) children, he won’t retire for a few years yet, and I have a very boring part-time job along with a resale DIY business/hobby. Do I continue with the boring part-time job with good benefits and a flexible schedule that allows me to DIY? Do I go back to a full time job that pays really well for the next few years to “up” my retirement, but allows no time for DIYing? Or just go along and see what’s around the corner? I will definitely be a reader of your journals, maybe your reflections will lead me to some of my own. Thanks Donna!
Oh Donna, a journal, what a great idea! I am so happy you have decided to invite us along. I have thought of doing a journal myself. Perhaps this is the nudge I need. I am so very ready for some new and happy changes in my life. I had hoped they were coming, but I am afraid perhaps I was wrong.
My daughter has been dealing with infertility problems, which is heartbreaking, but I refuse to give up hope. Yesterday, we received the news that my husband has been diagnosed with a returning cancer. I don’t think I have let it sink in yet. And finally my son is applying to the police academy, to realize his dream of becoming a police officer. I am so proud of him and I want very much for him to succeed. However, I feel my worrying has just begun! I think perhaps a journal is exactly what my heart needs right now! Thank you for sharing!
Oh Jennifer… that’s really heavy and scary stuff. I’m so sorry!
I have a few of my own worries, so no story is perfect by any means. But I aim to focus hard on the good stuff. I think life is about how we choose to handle living it.
I do encourage you to write your thoughts down, even if just for you. If frustrated, I often crack open a new document and type until I can type no more. Then end up erasing it a few hours later. It’s incredibly therapeutic!
I loved your journal entry. I just lost my job of 20 years and my thoughts have been on my next journey in life, I feel like I’ve been unleashed and not sure whats next. My son will be going off to college soon which will be hard, but will give me a lot of time to start my new adventure. Changes came unexpected but I’m ready! Thanks you just inspired me!!!
Wow Linda, talk about a wide open door! Now that’s exciting! You must feel incredibly free!
I encourage you to just go do something you love to do… see where that spark takes you!
This round? Make sure you LOVE it!