Dream farm, we need to chat

Open letter to my dream farm  / FunkyJunkInteriors.net
Dear Dream farm, we need to chat. 

When I moved into my current home, it was because it was within my budget and in a nice, family oriented neighbourhood. It was a mess, but eventually as time moved on, I had the help I needed to fix it up. (My story is HERE)

Today? My roof no longer leaks. My windows are new. And there are no toilets falling through the floor to be seen.

I want for nothing. Because our house is sound, and I’m not having to run after it with every tool imaginable like before with new water leaks spewing like outdoor fountains, we are safe.

Safe. That’s a good word. I feel safe and cozy in our fixed up home.

This can easily be my forever home. And it may. Actually, I was going to just deem it that and call it a day.

Because now that our home is safe and sound with all major repairs done, we can go travelling without huge worries. We are in a good place.

But then you. YOU.

Dandelion filled field / Open letter to my dream farm  / FunkyJunkInteriors.net
I found you shortly after I moved in. I went for a walk and there you were, with your wrap around veranda and little barn out back and creek running along the country road. And then there’s that outbuilding by the road… I could use it as a place to host junk sales.

Anyway, you were too expensive and too much work and intimidating. I didn’t even know how to fix a toilet at the time.

But now… with a little experience in behind me, you became available again.

I wanted to forget you so badly. 

But there you were tonight. Again. Taunting me as you seem to do. Your babbling creek and birds tweeting in the trees drew me in once again. I wanted to sit on the side of the road and just take you in, but the road was too wet. So I stood. Wishing you could be mine.

When I walked by you, I heard myself say, “I’d give up 1000 Hawaii visits if you could be mine.” I shocked myself.

I want to forget you. I want to move on. But… I had to do it… I went home and looked at your new price.

Over 1 million. 

Jaw drop…. seriously?

I clearly have my answer.

Was this tease meant to keep me off your property and realize how fabulous I already have it? Maybe.

Yet… you did it again. 

Can you please just move away so I can’t be tempted any longer? Because the only way I could ever have you at this rate is if I won the lottery. And since I don’t buy tickets, chances are slim I shall ever win. 🙂

Teddy field-004

Plus, you’re too much for me. I’ve had a farm before this place. And for the few years we were there, it was FABULOUS. But today, I know that would be just too much for me to care for. I’m going to write about my farm experience one day, because I think lots of us dream of having one. It was an eye opener.

Yet there you sit, with your 3 sided wrap around porch, and overhanging willow trees with a mountain backdrop, waving me in yet again.

What does this really mean? Why can’t I just resign to be fine where I am and remain content?

Well… I guess deep down I really do know what it means. I’m looking or waiting for something… even if I don’t know what it is. My roots will always be on farmland, which is how I grew up. I think once you’re a farmer’s daughter, you remain one at heart.

I want to love where I am. Without dropping serious coin to make it sing. Is it possible? I’d like to think so.

A cat in a dandelion filled field / Open letter to my dream farm  / FunkyJunkInteriors.net

Something tells me you’re a test for something. Am I suppose to keep working hard towards something I don’t yet have? Or is there a lesson just around the corner, proving I’m right where I need to be all along? 

No idea. None.

I want to love where I am. So please… hide your For Sale sign when I walk past you next time? 

That dream farm isn’t listening very well… 🙂

What do you think this means? That I have a certain place stuck in my head, but I know it’s not a good fit?  Do you go through this too? Do you think someone who continues to feel this way can ever make peace with where they are?

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  1. Boy you choose a tough one today. Not just for you but many folks have the same yearning. I really think it goes back to a time in our lives when we felt safest, most loved and understood. A place that we felt most secure within ourselves. Move forward and you have adulthood and all the insecurities that come with it. Whether through divorce, or loss, we feel the longing of that security. I believe we can be happy and content where we are in life if we CHOOSE to be. Life has taught me to be patient in the moment. Content with right now. Happy right now. Simply because the next minute life change in the blink of an eye. The lesson is CHOOSE to be content where you are. Look at what you have with a fresh perspective. If it is meant for you to have this farm, I gaurantee all the right pieces will gently fall into place and you WILL see it clearly. Until then, choose to be content to just walk by and admire it from the road. After all, the stream beside it is moving constantly. Ever changing and yet at its core, it’s happy to just be right where it is.

  2. Omg! I thought you bought it at first. Then sadly realized it’s out of regular people’s budgets. I’m in love with your writing! I’m betting your house is a bunch of people’s dream. With it’s beautiful gardens and super cute shed. And I do play the lottery whenever it’s a crazy high number….if I i ever win. I’ll send you the money. It’s a promise. Mimi
    Ps great old pic of your beautiful cat❤️

  3. That’s a tough one, but I do understand. My heart will always long to be back in Vermont. I live in Texas because that’s where my aging father is and I cherish each moment left with him, but it’s not my “heart home.” The years I lived in Vermont were the sweetest – its where I made my life long friends, where I healed from the death of my mother, and where I brought my daughter back to from China after I adopted. Now she is about to be a senior in high school and I admit, I’m nudging her towards East coast colleges so I can then move back, someday. But for now, I struggle to remain in my present and be happy. And most days, I am.

  4. I have been where you are many times dear lady. It is as though you can just taste the scrumptious sweetness on the other side of the bakery window. Every time you walk by the longing becomes more acute. The thought haunts you.

    God delights in blessing His children. The price of His greatest gift was the life of His precious son, Jesus Christ. He continues to pour out immeasurable blessings on us even today.

    How can you know if this farm is in God’s will for you? Give it to Him. Give Him your desire, your longing for it. Ask for His peace and contentment where you are. Thank Him for His loving care.

    When you walk by the farm praise God for His creation and ask His blessings on it and the family that will some day call it home. Then go in peace knowing that God has it all planned.

  5. I have to question that myself sometimes too Donna. I finally bought a place, it wouldn’t be much to most for it is a older mobile home but it’s MY HOME and I do love it but our mistake was that we were in a hurry (for no reason)to get a place coz’ we had just gotten back from working on the road however we did have a camper we could of lived in for awhile longer but as you say….. “Are we aver happy where we are..?” Here I am now wanting a bigger place… No need really, just do..

    I love the way you write though yours sounds so much better..!! Course you are a “BLOGGER”.. Love your work by the way..

  6. Oh Donna, there is a REASON for this dream farm to be in your life. Doesn’t “Dream Farm” sound like a great name for it? I can see this on a gate, like a ranch arch-like sign, at the beginning of the driveway. 🙂 Maybe on a repurposed king-size headboard suspended from above.
    There’s a reason it keeps being re-listed… so their “price” is just an “asking price”… I know I am stating the obvious. You’re in a perfect place for this to come to be… appreciating where you are and eager for the adventure of what is next. 🙂 Everything is possible. I say all this for my benefit too. 🙂

  7. Oh Junk…I know just how you feel. For years, we drove through the “rich people’s neighborhood,” wishing that we could live in one of the lovely old homes with lots of big trees and sidewalks everywhere and gracious front porches and….well, you get the picture. And one day, as we were contemplating leaving the ‘burbs and getting closer to town, IT was for sale. The cottage I had driven by a million times, always thinking “I wonder what it looks like inside?” And we looked, and my husband fell in love. And he bought it for MORE than the asking price, because he was blinded by love. And so far, we have spent roughly one zillion dollars fixing it up, because it hadn’t had any of the important stuff done since the 1940s. *sigh* I am hoping, after living in one fixer-upper after another for the last 30+ years, this is it. My next house will be new. (If we ever get this one done, that is.)

  8. Farm life is great but you’re right it’s a lot of work for one person. I’m currently doing that and our remodel still isn’t finished. However this is the year we get it done and then sell so we can move further out into the country because it’s where I thrive. The kids are now raised and my husband and I enjoy that peace and quiet, his work takes him traveling so a nice quiet place where we can regroup will be nice. Starting over seems like a lot of work but my husband reminds me that if we keep it simple it will be worth it. Excited and I find you have to do what works best for you. If you’re content where you are that’s a good thing. But I also know that farm dreams can come true too.
    -Carole

  9. Oh Donna, what a beautiful place. Everyone looks around and dreams of what could be, it’s only natural. When I got married again after my divorce, I had to give up my little cozy house (only 700 sq ft) with its beautiful back yard. Then we moved into a bigger house with a not so private backyard. Now I’m wishing we would have moved farther into the country and bought a smaller house (our is 2000 sq ft) with some outbuildings instead of just a detached garage. I don’t think the desire to be someplace different is a bad thing – it keeps us dreaming – which is an essential part of life.

  10. Donna,
    It never hurts to have dreams – if you hadn’t dreamt of your own business, where would you be? I think there’s always something calling to us; we are wired for that better place. We all have to have goals! Learning contentment is difficult sometimes but you can learn it. Does that mean you’ll never find another place? No. It just means learning to bloom where you’re planted. So good ahead…dream a little but keep on appreciating what you have.
    Hugs
    Cecilia

  11. Donna you got it bad, I don’t know what this yearning is when you are content where you are at the present. But yikes, the price tag, its just there to torment you shamelessly. Make it your happy place when you get down or sad and that won’t cost you a penny. That’s what I do, I go back to my grandparents farm in my mind and I find peace.

  12. Dear Donna, Being a farmer’s daughter, too, I know it never gets out of your thoughts and blood. The longing for the special life, the clean air, the cycles of nature, the fulfillment, the relationship the the animals and the land….it remains. But there is something else. I remember a poem I had to learn in high school about a nobleman dressed in his fine clothes riding through the country on his beautiful horse. He stops at a farm to allow his horse to get a drink and a young country maid provides the water for them. The poem is about the thoughts each of them is thinking and imagining the others life to be. He thinks about her life being so wonderful in the country and she thinks about the fine cultured life with beautiful clothes and all that she imagines that goes with it. It is a powerful lesson that no matter where we are we are never completely satisfied for long. Perhaps that is the human condition and it keeps us motivated to move forward.

    I think that with your gift for writing so creatively, and interestingly about everything from soup to nuts in your life, you ought to seriously consider writing more and more. Even a compilation of many of your posts, like this one, like your story of how you got the house, etc. would make a wonderful book….a real book….with pages and such….and pictures and furniture and animals….you know how we love the animals. Your name is quite identifiable (Funky Junk) and I believe it would sell well. In fact you have to material for several books. On your life. And faith. On photography…make it simple. On Junk. And maybe even a bit of fiction thrown in.

    Who know? Maybe then you could afford your farm and the help needed to run it, send a boy to college, and travel, too. Who knows?

  13. Oh Donna, isn’t that just our human nature…always wanting more…never being completely satisfied with our lot. I actually think it is healthy to have dreams to aspire to. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we got to have everything we ever wanted. Then what? If you are meant to have Dream Farm, it shall be yours.

  14. I’ve lived in your little town and there are so many beautiful properties. While there I always loved one place in particular at the end of a dead-end street. I would walk by for years and yearn to live in that big old house. When I drove by a few years later, the house had been demolished, apparently unsafe, and the one I did live in is still standing and will for many years. My point is be careful what you wish for!!! There is something to be said for safe. Comes a point in our life when we need safe. We can go out and do all the crazy, unsafe stuff we still need to do to be happy, but having a safe, paid-off place to come back to means a lot.

    OR, you could go out and buy a lottery ticket!!!!

  15. My dear darling girl, you have just summed up the exact feelings I have carried all my life. Growing up as an Air Force kid, moving every few years……Now I’m 53 and still looking for my forever home! I can tell you this–the older you get, the more you know what you really really love. We have a wonderful home right now and will only move if we find the perfect thing we are looking for. We want less house, more garage, room for chickens, and a view of the mountains. Sounds like you found your perfect dream home, I feel your feelings!! “Longing for home which may or may not exist” should have it’s own word.

  16. My heart ached reading this. I, too was raised on a farm and I want back. But like you I know it’s a lot of work and I’m getting up in years. My daughter has the farm bug- wants all the animals so I may be able to visit her farm. The ache just to get back onto Canadian soil has eluded me for so long and now with kids and grandkid around, it feel like it won’t happen. I don’t have an answer for you. Just know there are others who have a yearn that won’t go away.
    It’s morning and I don’t know how to put this: If you were to run a business (is it zoned for that?)wouldn’t that sort of offset the price tag so to speak. In other words, the business is making a large part of the mortgage? That’s how I’m trying to work out having my future place in my mind. Minus the sale of your house. Also, (sorry for being so long-winded) I didn’t think we could afford the home we are in now but talking with a realtor costs nothing, you can be looking around, praying as you go.
    Blessings and peace.

  17. Donna – I have been reading your blog for a couple of years and have enjoyed sharing your journey and watching you achieve your dreams. You have mentioned more than once your desire to own a home with a barn. I wonder if this place or something like it isn’t the next step for you. The price is high for a home, but maybe for a home and business it might be something to think about. I firmly believe all things happen for a reason. Maybe this house isn’t your next home, but somehow I truly believe a barn is in your future. Good luck!

    • Donna for some reason your post today really hit home. 7 years ago I took the plunge moving from Alberta to Vancouver Island single at the time. I moved from a safe done house to the dream farm. 5 acres with outbuildings a huge heritage barn and a little farm house. It wasn’t dream material when I moved in far from it. It was beyond fixer upper. With a lot of help from friends and family it’s coming along slowly. I will have projects to do for the next 20 years but when I drive down that driveway the stress of the day melts away and I know I am home. You will know when the time is right the yearning just won’t go away. The pieces will come together like they did for me. I made a low ball offer while on vacation and the next thing I knew I’d bought a farm. I agree with everyone else trust that the right thing will happen and be ready to go for it when it does 🙂

  18. I think we are hard wired to daydream. And that doesn’t mean feeling discontent with where we are, but don’t you remember lying on the grass as a kid and looking up into the trees…and dreaming the day away? I’d close my eyes and listen to the birds and the wind and not get a thing done. Mostly because those were glorious carefree days where nothing *had* to get done!

    When my friends ask me for my five year plan, I always say striving for peace and contentment. Oh yea, and patience…always my weak spot! These are my life goals, for me everything else is just secondary.

    What a lovely post, Donna. I hope you have a wonderful weekend 🙂

  19. I think we all are a bit antsy from time to time, we become bored (well, maybe that’s not the right word). We fear stagnation, we yearn for change, and are tempted by the shine; our creative souls crave discovery. Perhaps this discovery, the allure, has brought to light your contentment; not that you get what you think you want, but the realization of what you already have.
    Sometimes our journey leads us to our dreams…sometimes it shows us we already have them.
    J

  20. Your dreams are what inspire you. Dreams mixed in with memories of our past, like your childhood. You have a connection to this ranch and it may be drawning you in for a reason. My grandmother always said, everything happens for a reason no matter if it is good or bad. If this is something you decide to pursue and everything works out it was meant to be. Your current home is wonderful and will be there for you to keep you safe if pursuing the ranch doesn’t workout. It won’t have hard feelings against you for pursing your dream.

  21. Reading through the comments, I had to nod my head because it’s true…it’s a human trait to long for something better. Like, when I spent four months in hotel rooms after our fire last year, I just wished to be anywhere with roots, so when we bought this place, it was like we were home-free…it was the best place in the world because it wasn’t a hotel room. Now we’ve lived in it for almost a year, I find I miss the town we moved from…I find myself ever wishing we could move back, but we just don’t have the financial health to do that right now. But I think what you are experiencing is something more than just desiring something better…you seem to thrive on change, where most people shirk from it. I can only think that, when something starts feeling too safe, you need to move on. Too, it sounds like you miss farm-life…it may be a ton of hard work, but I think in your heart, you find that rewarding. So, maybe a farm is in your future? Perhaps even your Dream Farm? Embrace that dream…consider it seriously and see if, deep in your heart, it is truly what you desire…if you find you just can’t get it out of your head and heart, then work towards it! Life is too short for us to live without the things that would make us happiest! Wherever life takes you, Donna, I know you will make the most of it…because that’s just who you are! 🙂

  22. Ohhh my…. I’m reading all your posts and nodding with each and every one. I have so much to say on all this. So be prepared… there’s probably going to be a part 2 and part 3 to this story. If not more! 🙂

    Thank you ALL for your kind and thoughtful responses. I’m taking it all in with wide eyed wonder.

  23. Wow Donna, deep thoughts and yes, I too have them. I don’t have any set answer as I think we all need to discover what will work for each of us. When I was a young mother just about to go into my 30’s, the pastor of my church said ‘be satisfied (happy) where you are at the present time, but not complacent (content), continue to strive forward as God has many surprises for us’. Blessings and smiles, your friend in Oregon

  24. The grass is always greener. I am laughing. I live on a little farm. And little is the keyword. I look at new homes with closets and big beautiful kitchens and sigh wondering what it would be like. For now and probably the rest of this life, I will make the sun shine in my little corner. We are each a beautiful source of joy and I so enjoy reading about yours.

  25. Many good ideas and feelings posted today, so I’m going to add mine. I, too, was a farmer’s daughter, raised on 120 acres, 80 workable, 40 either too rocky or has houses and outbuildings on them. My dad made a good living then, and sent 2 daughters to college, etc. I couldn’t wait to get off that farm! I went to high school in town(13 miles away) and envied my friends who had “real” jobs and could go to the pool everyday in the summer. I did animal chores, fields work, and if I wanted to swim, I could clean the cow drinking tank and play in the cold hose water! Still, I had a nice warm house, good food, nice clothes to wear; but I didn’t appreciate it then. Neither my sister nor I moved back to the farm. Fortunately, my only son and his wife bought the farm from my parents and live there today. they raise cash crops and a small herd of cattle, rent out 2 old houses and live in a fairly new modest home. The farm is paying for itself, but they both have good paying state jobs, he is in the Ag Dept. The outbuildings are old, and sheds are missing boards. The “Old barn” is way over 100 yrs old and not safe for much storage. Too expensive to tear down, they are waiting for it to fall down! The “New” barn was built in 1920 and is still in fairly good shape, but they had to re-roof it a few years ago, and now it needs paint again. The 2 old houses need updating, one is over 100 yrs old and was remodeled in 1950 (that’s the house I grew up in). They love that land and don’t ever plan to leave, unless something bad, or better, comes along! Land in that area of Wisconsin sells for $7,000 and up an acre! So, depending on acreage, workable land and the fact there is a running stream plus location, $1 million isn’t a bad price today. Would I move back to our farm? Probably not. I have thought about it, but the cons outweigh the pros, and I don’t want to drive 13 to 25 miles to shop or see friends anymore. I’m not a spring chick anymore! You have a lot to think about Honey, but I know you aren’t afraid of hard work. Your conscience and God will guide you.

  26. Donna, you are amazing! I love your courage to share your story, to accept help and to lean on God. Your are so creative and I’ve learned a lot from you. I will be building a raised garden bed this Spring and put in a new pathway from the sidewalk to the patio. I’m “junking” up my flower beds, too.
    Pat yourself on the shoulders and give yourself a lot of credit. You are helping your son in ways you have no idea of yet.
    Keep plugging away and sharing, we all love your determination. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. As Lisa said below, “pray for contentment”. God Bless.

  27. What you are saying is exactly what I am going through. I have this great place that I have been living in and enjoying, BUT… For some reason I have never thrown my heart into any of my upgrades, decor, or anything due to the idea that I would move into my dream farm house. Instead I live in a single story tract home. It is not bad. There is an acre of land. I have a small building that neighbors call a barn. I have put in a small vineyard and we make wine every year. We have added arbors, garden boxes, torn out walls and put in french doors. We like to travel, so I hesitate getting any more animals. (we have cats. Our dog died a few years ago) But when I see some of these great places for sale, in or out of our price range, I get very itchy feet. I so hear what you are saying.

  28. i have read that when we make the best of what we have, and totally love where we are, then what we wish for will come to us.
    donna you have been an inspiration when it comes to making the best of what you have, and loving where you are ( and making all of us falling in love with where you are!), so i have no doubt that your wish will come true, in magical ways… never stop dreaming!! xo

  29. I think it’s part of just learning to accept what God has given us and be OK with it. He really does KNOW what is best. One things for sure….if you travel the world, as I’ve had the blessing of doing, you quickly realize how unbelievably blessed we are materially compared to the bulk of the world. Contentment is a choice…..there will always, always be “wants”…..giving thanks continually for what one has is the best way to grow contentment in the heart. And in time….the dreams do fade…..mine have…..

  30. Aside from having an actual place to speak to, I have this exact same conversation with myself daily. Daily. I go back and forth in my head. Daily. I have three kids to consider. Changing schools. Fewer grocery stores. Can’t walk to Walgreen’s. So much work for an almost 40 year old. But I still dream about that white farmhouse. With the wrap around porch. And the chickens. And my daughter’s pet pig she keeps asking for. And more dirt than my gardening obsessed soul would know what to do with. And, and, and. Daily.

  31. Oh friend, I completely understand!!! We gutted our home and now that it’s (for the most part) the way we want it we have an urge to move onto the next project. Sometimes I think it’s more about the chase and the dream for me than the reality. Do you think you’re like that too? It’s so hard not to dream!! How exciting to not know what God has in store for our lives though. 🙂 Big hugs to you!!

  32. So glad I’m not the only gal who feels this way! My dream home is right around the corner from me also… It’s not for sale now, but a few years ago it was and I talked my hubby into checking it out. It was ABSOLUTELY. PERFECT. My only problem with the house was that there was no window in the laundry room…really? That’s it. I LOVED everything else about it! Porch, room sizes, room layout, everything!! Don’t even get me started on the things I could have done in that kitchen!! But because it sits pretty close to the city limits of a city we do not want to live in and don’t want our kids to go to school in and the neighbors were pretty close, my hubs said “no”. End of story. I wish now I had fought it, it was in our price range and right now it’s outside of the city limits. If the city limits moved, I could have homeschooled!! I have done nothing but dream about it since. (that was at least 4 years ago!) I try so hard to be content here with what I have. We’ve lived in our house for 19 years now, but in the back of my mind that farmhouse down the road is calling me. Will it ever stop??? Reading the other readers’ comments, the closest solution I can find to our problem is the suggestion to pray for contentment! I’ll continue doing so while keeping an eye out for a for sale sign again!!

  33. When something keeps bringing attention to your heart over and over, I do feel it is a message. I saw a special on tv about a person very much like you who fell in love with a mansion on Alexandria Bay, and knew it was way out of their price range, but he could picture himself there and all the rooms furnished and his family growing up every summer with friends. So, he wrote them a letter with his very meager offer along with his musings, and forgot about it. Several months later he got a letter that his offer was accepted. You just never know…. sometimes sellers are just looking for that special someone who will love their home as much as they did while they had it, and hold out until they find that someone. For 2 homes that I had bought, both homes were sold before I could put an offer in and I just said to myself then something better must be in store for me, and was grateful and content in knowing that so I wasn’t too disappointed. Both times I did that, the sales didn’t go through and the sellers contacted me to say the house was available. I just didn’t know, but knew something wonderful was going to happen in any case…and it did!

  34. Keep looking and you will find an affordable place. You may have to leave your area but working from home that may work.
    Being a country girl myself I could not be content to always live away. Sometimes we have to and I’ve done that too. But ultimately a country girl needs a bit of country if only a couple of acres.
    Keep the dream alive!

  35. Donna, I feel the same way. We were so happy when we bought our home and still love it, but our neighbors have put a wet blanket on things. Old tires and unkempt yards really make us want to move. I always dream of buying a farm too. I understand your struggle. We have what so many people are dreaming of having and we want the next step up the ladder. You’re not alone.