I think it’s safe to say, this time of year when so many are making grand plans for the new year, we all crave to ‘find the answer.’
What are we meant to do in life? Are we close? Or did we miss the mark? And what do we need to do in order to get there?
All you know for sure is, you feel restless.
I get it. I actually feel doubt several times a day. And sometimes I’ll wake up at night and feel it too.
But then other times I know exactly what I’m suppose to do. It feels right when time stands still and you’re totally in your element.
But then, something goes wrong or maybe you’re feeling you aren’t doing enough or earning enough and you start doubting again. Sound familiar?
So how do you know where you’re going and what you’re doing?
Here’s my take.
I’ve been self employed for nearly all my adult life so I’ve always called my own shots. I like it that way, but self employment can be rocky too. If you take a vacation, there’s no pay. If you wish for benefits, you have to buy them.
But without a doubt, I know self employment is for me. Being self employed has much to do with believing you can do whatever it is you set out to do. And then do it.
I suppose that’s why I slipped into blogging so effortlessly. If I like something, I just do it. Then I test myself and see how far I can take it while still enjoying it. And if it starts to feel like work, I change things up to like it again. Always testing, always trying, always inventing and recreating the wheel. I have to say I’m more restless if I DON’T change something than if the same thing is ahead of me. I crave change.
I told someone at my day job not long ago that I found it hard to letter a vehicle on both sides, because I’d already done it once on one. And that I stayed up way too late at night because it was hard to turn all the fun off.
Feeling rather silly for not being able to completely control how I was feeling, he said…
“That’s because you’re creative. Normal won’t do. Your wheels are always turning, ready to crank out the next big idea. I envy you.”
Wow. And here I thought I was just a Facebook addict! 🙂
So here’s a little check list I give myself when I start doubting what I’m doing with my life… see if it doesn’t chime in with you as well.
What do you LOVE to do?
It’s kinda really that easy. Dream of your perfect day. Then make that day happen. Then make it happen again. And again. Then figure out a way to monetize it. Suddenly… you’re doing it!
Learn
But wait! Say you KNOW what you want to do, but you don’t know how? Well, that’s when learning comes into play. Take a class, work with a friend, create an online group… and get learning so you can do more.
Give it time.
If you’re looking for a way to earn income, don’t expect it overnight. So it’s safe to say, don’t leave the day job until your cool job is earning more than the day job. That is, if you need the money. If you don’t and you have financial support, run like the wind! But still, don’t expect the income to come quickly. My good friend reminds me a plan takes about 5 years to materialize. He’s been kinda right.
Continue to change… or morph.
I had a very successful company. I actually gave it all I got. And had an employee as well. But one day my son came into the picture and my passion changed overnight. So I coasted with the job. I woke up 20 years later wondering what on earth happened to me. I loved my son, but I didn’t love the job any longer. What happened?!
I changed. But I didn’t change what I was doing to continue to love it. In other words, I didn’t continue to learn… or morph. Be willing to learn new things all the time, because THAT will ultimately change your game and get you where you desire to go. If you aren’t learning, you aren’t changing, and you’ll stay right where you are.
Read an entire post on morphing HERE.
Don’t compare.
Boy, that blogger sure has a nice camera! Doesn’t compare to yours, does it? No wonder you can’t get the shots! And how about all that traffic they get? How on earth do they get so many comments? Or wow, their social media numbers went through the roof! Whatever did you do wrong to not be there?
I get it. I’m guilty too. But know what? YOU will grow where YOUR strengths are.
It’s ok to be happy for another and learn how others do things. But your life is yours. Your circumstances are different. And so is your own plan. Be willing to learn, but do what works for you in YOUR time. And feel no shame nor guilt! Compare you to YOU so you see growth, but not against another. That isn’t even applicable.
Maybe you’re already there.
I was at a friend’s one time and feeling particularly great. No reason why really, just felt good. We broke into a conversation and I said something to the effect that I didn’t know what to do ‘next’. And she pointed out…
“I think you’re already there!”
That taught me to appreciate right where I was, even though my story was far from finished. I believe there’s a season for everything. Maybe you aren’t suppose to be anywhere else at the moment because your family needs you more? You’re not ready? You aren’t to head in that direction? Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to just be, too!
Rather than promising yourself all these resolutions, or extremely lofty goals, why not strike out and just find what makes your heart happy?
Maybe that’s all that was missing all along.
Wow that hit home, did you climb into my head???!!! Thanks…..
Thanks you for the advice and encouragement…and for sharing your story! I hope this year brings you much happiness!
Actually the first complete blog I think I have ever read*) No one has said it simpler or better. You go girl and keep on going and sharing!!
Nicely done! I know that I am here to tell people funny stories, but that means stand-up comedy (which I do for free) or teaching (which I do for minimum wage). I can’t monetize my silliness, because there isn’t much of a market, but it sure is fun!
Kirby I would totally pay you for your silliness! 😉
What spot on thoughts and perspective.I especially appreciate your friends thought “maybe you are already there”. To many times we are always wanting or doing more that we pass right by this .
Wow! That is exactly how i’ve been feeling. Time to morph! Thanks!
What a great post! Thanks for the encouragement. Some days I feel like I’m all over the place and doing a lot of things just OK. This year, I’m concentrating on what my strengths are and making those things better knowing that the other places will fall into place where they need to be. Happy New Year to you!
Thank you
I think sometimes we all need a little reminder to stop and smell the flowers. To breath and know everything has a time and a place.
Good morning Donna, WOW!!! that was an amazing read! You know how when you are really hungry , you finally take time to eat and then say , “you inhaled your food”.
That is how I feel like I was reading , couldn’t get enough ,fast enough!
I too crave change! I call it the bkessing & the curse of the creative soul.
I often find myself being my own worst critic, and can get so caught up in what’s up ahead that I miss the right now.
I truly believe I was meant to see this this morning 😉
Thank you for sharing, and for the inspiration!
Eileen
Thank you so much for this! I soooo needed it. I am trying to use my “creativity” to earn enough money to pay for health insurance when my husband retires from his job. Thanks for posting all the feelings that I have now and making me feel its “normal”. (lol)
I swear you wrote it directly to ME!!!! You truly spoke to my soul, thank you. I find myself doubting, comparing and wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Your words put me at rest ~ I NEED to remind myself I’m at my perfect place at this moment ~ Thank you!!!!!!
Wow I have to say that this is what I was having an issue with TODAY and feeling restless as well. Thank you so much for sharing this today, as I believe it was just what I needed to hear. I am sure many others feel the same way out there, even worse is this time of year when “new” things need to be looked at.
Thanks again for sharing and have a blessed day. 🙂
Great article/blog/putting your life into words! It really spoke to me! I’m totally guilty of the whole comparison thing!
You nailed it! My biggest issue is doubting myself–those nagging little voices in my head that keep telling me that a million other people do what I do and probably do it better. Plus I am so impatient that waiting for results is torture. I also find myself “competing” in the sense that “They are already doing this and that and I should be doing that to improve my blog too” The I get overwhelmed and scattered and nuts.
I decided to step back this year. Prioritize the shop and blog, learn what I need to do and take my time incorporating all the other “stuff” and to most of all, be patient with myself!
Thanks for the insight girlfriend–it was badly needed!
Keep doing what your doing because you do it all so well!
xo
That was fantastic – Thanks for sharing I needed to hear some positive words from someone else. I just started a new adventure after ending one a few months ago. I wasn’t sure if it was the right move but deep down I knew it was I just allowed others to cloud my creative process. Starting something from scratch can be such a slow process but this time I find it’s different because I’m in an avenue that allows me to be creative in all I do. The creative person is always thinking – I completely agree – if they’re not they just wilt… We’re like flowers that strive to keep blooming. Thanks for this post it was a real blessing to my morning.
-Caorle
Donna, thank you so much for posting this. I needed the encouragement.
Donna,
Hip hip hallelujah ! Pray, plan, persevere, play and laugh. Laugh at our failed attemps, laugh at our successes and laugh for the pure joy of hearing the sound of our own voices. Voices which sometimes are not very encouraging or supportive …our own inner doubts. A new day, a new year, new dreams and new beginnings. Learning to step into the unknown, learning to grasp the excitement of what’s around the next bend and learning to be kinder to those we meet on our journey and more grateful for the experience. Your words are spot on, blessings for a soul prospering New Year, my friend.
I want every sweet friend I know to read this blog…it is the meaning of my motto…
Be Powerful…Not Pitiful…!!!
Donna – This post sure hit the nail on the head for me! I want to continue to do what I love, to learn, grow and give it time (not easy for me to do) and to know that I am here at this place for a reason and for this season of my life. Thank you for writing this post!
Speaks to my journey in my jewelry business! Encouragement to my heart! Thanks Donna!
thanks donna! all good advise.
i really appreciate the part about staying up way too lat at night because it is hard to turn off all the fun.
when i was a kid my mom used say that it was hard for me to go to sleep at night because “i thought i might miss something fun”
you friend is right. i think that is the way creative brains work. . . and NORMAL just doesn’t work for us. sometimes i look over at my husband who at 9 or 10 pm is in blissful sleep, and i so wish i could turn ‘it’ off and join him. but no matter what time i finally do get to sleep, the next morning, i am always ready to do it all over again.
thanks for the reminder that this is ‘our’ normal. and it is good.
have a creative new year donna